What You Can Learn From Your Introvert Friends

a photo of a sleeping dog with the text what you can learn from your introvert friends

If you're an extrovert, you probably have a busy schedule - days packed with family outings, extracurriculars your kids, coffee with friends, brunch with the girls, and happy hour with work colleagues. You enjoy being around people and experiencing all the vivaciousness that life has to offer.
But you might also be feeling burnt out, a little exhausted, and maybe even stressed from trying to keep track of so many engagements. If keeping up with the status quo of "being busy" is taking it's toll on you, here are a few words of advice from an introvert who understands the value and peace of a life lived more quietly:

1. Do your own thing.

I get it - you want to spend time with the people that you care about, and sometimes that means doing things you aren't always interested in doing, for the sake of being able to spend time with those people. I've been there and done that.

But it's perfectly okay to take a hard look at your own interests and choose to do things you'd rather be doing. If your current group of friends isn't interested in those things, you social butterflies ought to have no problems making some new friends while engaging in your interests.

2. Cancel a couple of plans.

Begads! Did she just suggest I cancel trivia night next week with my work friends?! I sure did. And might I also suggest you knock at least one activity off your weekend? The benefit of having just a few less activities or social events is that you'll be able to devote more time, energy, and presence to those you really want to be enjoy and contribute to. Stretching yourself too thin doesn't do anyone any good.

3. Resist small talk.

I'm not talking about your encounters at the hair salon or the grocery store checkout clerk - I mean with the people you spend the most time with. Ask yourself this question: What do we really talk about when we're together? Chances are, it's not terribly deep stuff. But maybe it is and that's great! Asking deep and probing questions (how do you feel about climate change? do you think boycotting Amazon over their treatment of workers could be effective? etc) is a great way to really get to know the people in your life and what they truly value.

4. Consider decluttering.

With the KonMari method being all the rage right now, decluttering and minimalism are household buzz-words. But while a clutter-free home can be incredibly relaxing to come home to, also consider getting rid of the clutter in other parts of your life - old friends you don't really mesh with anymore, the FB request from your husband's racist grandmother, and social media platforms that don't bring you joy. I mean, do you really need that old Bumble account?

5. Schedule a siesta.

While siesta translates directly as "nap" it's a very nuanced concept in Spain that refers to a period of rest in the afternoon where many businesses, like restaurants and shops, close down for a few hours. For this period, people rest during the hottest part of the day so they can close out the evening feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

What would you do if nothing was open from 4 pm to 7 pm every afternoon? How would you rest? Consider taking an hour or two after work to just simply be and relax. Take a nap, even!

Click Here to read how an introvert enjoys their siesta!

6. Spend some time alone.

This can be scary for non-Introverts. Being alone forces you to really connect with yourself and sometimes you're going to have to connect with parts of yourself that you don't care for. But this is a great opportunity for personal growth and reflection. And while you ponder the complexities of your inner self, you can also utilize some self-care pampering like a hot bath, glass of wine, and a facial - interruption free!

a woman reading a book and holding a cup of coffee

Do you have any introvert friends in your life? Ask them how they like to unwind and spend their time, what makes them happy and at peace. You might be in for one seriously enlightening conversation and your introvert friend will feel understood and appreciated. Win-win! 


  1. So true! I personally need to do more decluttering in my life! My house in particular! I used to be more introverted as a teen so I get what you mean. I slowly came out of my shell as I became an adult.


    1. I think people confuse introversion and shyness a lot - I may be an introvert, but I'm certainly not shy! :) But I definitely recharge and feel more at peace when I spend time alone than with others. Extroverts tend to gain energy by being around people, which boggles my mind. It's important for both extroverts and introverts to have a healthy balance of socializing and time to themselves - I just think that balance is going to look a little different for each person.

  2. I'm definitely an introvert and what most resonates with me is cluttering the people in your life. I've always felt that it's better to have a few great friends than many acquaintances. Of course if someone likes the second option, who am I to judge?

    Kathrin | Polar Bear Style

  3. I consider myself as an introvert going to ambivert.
    And i definitely love it, being alone and spending time alone with myself.

    Much Love,
    Jane | The Bandwagon Chic


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