On the Cusp

Feeling: Incredibly stressed out. Apartment hunting is hard work, especially on one income and trying to schedule tours around a 9-5 time-frame.

Wanting: All the overtime that this summer is going to bring me! At the end of this month, I'll be pulling some extra weekend hours which will really boost my paycheck and make sure I can definitely (read: comfortably) make rent at the new apartment we'll be shuffling into this July.

Cooking: Bulgogi beef - there's something a slab of sizzling beef drowning in a rich bulgogi sauce on a hot spring/summer night. Served up with a bed of rice and some veggies, it feels like a perfect end to a week.



Drinking: Wheat beers! And I'll be the first to admit I'm not usually a big fan of the Hefeweizen type of beer, but something about the floral undertones of these Germanic brews is just doing it for me, lately!

Watching: I'm so sorry, but I'm just gonna drop this here with no context whatsoever and see if you find it as hilariou…

Goth is a subculture that will always be near and dear to my heart, even if I don't engage it as often as I used to. Goth is what introduced me to some of my favorite music and provided a gateway into even more interesting genres. I probably wouldn't enjoy EDM as much as I do today if it weren't Goth Rock and it's offshoot Industrial. I probably wouldn't have the appreciation I do for a black blazer if it wasn't for my days decked out as a dandy Victorian corpse.

While I was always ogle photos from Whitby Goth Weekend of gorgeous girls (and guys!) dolled up in lace, PVC, zippers, and fishnet - I also realize that kind of style isn't practical for my current lifestyle and so I've settled for retaining small nods to spooky in my daily wear.

For example - I have small, dangly bat earrings on today and my favorite armor ring. Doesn't hurt that most of my outfit is also black, but that's really nothing new here!

So what is Goth?

Some of you may be wo…

Do you remember being a kid on the playground? How often you would fall off the monkey bars, only to get right back up there and try again until you finally made it? What resilience!

At what point in our lives do we lose this?

When every single failure and flaw chips away at our self-worth...when the people in our lives no longer seem to be in our corner encouraging us...when competition is the name of the game and only the winners get to have the good life...

Our inner resilience flounders and dies. Our self-esteem crumbles. We let the world dictate our worth by its standards instead of our own.

In honor of National Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm going to talk about my own struggles with self-worth, self-esteem, and where I find my inner resilience. *trigger warning for anecdotal musings on depression and suicide*



I think I was probably in 10th grade when it first occurred to me that I could be depressed. I wasn't just sad all the time - I had stopped caring about eating,…

I'm gonna level with you all here: I don't really follow trends. I keep an eye on 'em, sure, but I'm not one to follow the flock. And chances are high that if I am being trendy, it's because I was probably already wearing it.

Sheer dresses? Check. Print on print? Check. Shirts under dresses? Check.

But there is ONE 2018 spring/summer trend I'm finally getting on board with and that, my friends, is the jumpsuit. I've always though they looked fabulous on other people and were the next best thing to dresses if you want more mobility forgiveness. But I could never bring myself to wear them - they'll feel awkward, it's too hard to go to the restroom, nobody in my area wears this and I'll be seen as pretentious, etc.

I used to care about that stuff.

Both of my two black jumpsuits came to me via Goodwill - one is a slinky little number with draped pockets and a very low-cut v-neck. The other, which I'm wearing today, is a loose and long jumpsuit …

I'm gonna level with ya - I may call myself a practicing witch, but I haven't had all that much time for any sort of "practicing" that isn't the rehearsing of a stressful work phone call. That being said, there are some things in my world that are going kind of topsy-turvy right now and so I'm calling up all the powers of the universe to help me manifest an optimal outcome.

While I don't remember exactly where I first came across this 7-step process, it is one that stuck with me that I keep coming back to:

1. Clarity - really flesh out what you want
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2. Dump limiting beliefs and blocks
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3. Ask the universe - but don't beg
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4. Take action - daily steps to take
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5. Acknowledge what you receive
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6. Keep your mind positive
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7. Repeat as needed....
And for good reason! These seven, simple steps work for just about anything you want to manifest in your life.

But let's use my situation as an example.

The boy and I had been talking about moving out of our slum…