5 Mistakes I'm Glad I Made
If there is one thing that's completely, unavoidably human about life it's the act of making mistakes. We've all made at least one or two catastrophically bad choices in life, although maybe catastrophic might be too strong of a word here....
So without further ado, here are Five Mistakes I'm Glad I Made:
1.) Never Learning How to Drive.
Maybe, I should rephrase that. I learned how to drive, I just didn't like it. In fact, I was so petrified of it that I would routinely have projectile-vomit panic attacks when I was forced behind the wheel of a vehicle. Luckily for me, this only happened a handful of times in my early twenties.
Since then I have not driven any motor vehicle on any designated roadway. And while I sometimes lament the freedom of being able to just go -- I love that I've learned how to navigate various different types of public transit so seamlessly. And truth be told, not having a car to look after and pay insurance on saves a whole heck of a lot of money.
2.) Staying in Not One, but Two, Toxic Relationships.
....I guess this one will definitely require some explanation. You see, when I was just a wee lass of nineteen, I went adventuring off to the great Northern Wilds of....Montreal. I had met a guy online that I was interested in and so I literally traveled via Greyhound bus (alone) to go meet him. We wound up in a long-term relationship and I lived in Montreal for three years. During that three year time span, our relationship deteriorated into something vile and incredibly abusive -- near the end I was understandably suicidal and I knew I had to make some serious choices.
It took a lot of help to get me out of that situation, and once I was I practically fell straight into another unhealthy relationship. And I stayed because I thought I owed him that - without his help I would never have escaped my Abusive Ex #1. But in the end, and after all that I'd already survived, I realized that I had the strength to leave people behind that didn't have my best interests at heart. I had found the strength needed to stand alone and do what needed to be done.
It took WAY MORE than it should have, but in the end I learned just how much I could handle. And what I would never endure again.
3.) Going to College.
Yes, I consider this one a mistake. You see, I wasn't really doing it for the right reasons - it was just supposed to be a costly stepping stone onto the next great thing I wanted to do. And boy, was it costly! I'm still paying off heaps of student loans (and apply for forbearance whenever I can to put it off) and what did I even get out of it?
Nothing. I went to university for an English Linguistics degree because I had lofty plans to go teach English abroad and then settle down later in life with a cushy teaching position back home in the states. Needless to say, that didn't happen.
I had a major mental breakdown near the end of my third year. I was stressed out. My relationship (abusive ex #2) was failing, my family was having all kinds of personal problems that I was routinely made aware of....and on top of that I was having my own problems with my mental health.
In the end though, I am glad that I went and learned something. I LOVE language. I have such a passion for writing and how words work and the syntax behind sentence structure. I love learning how other languages tick and what pieces go together to make them function the way they do. Even if I had to borrow several thousands of dollars to get this invaluable lesson, I'm still glad it happened.
4.) Packing Everything and Moving Cross Country.
Last year my current partner and I made the bold choice to pack up our earthly possessions and drive halfway across the continent. With very little money, no career prospects, and really no plan. We just drove. Things were already rocky between us and we were both on the verge of homelessness anyways - what did we have to lose?
Other than our sanity, that is.
What we gained, though, has been invaluable. I don't recommend living out of the back of a leaky pickup trick for two months, but if you ever do, you will absolutely learn to appreciate the little things you have. I used to take for granted having a roof over my head, fresh food to eat, and the ability to shower regularly -- no longer having those things really forces you to take a good, hard look at yourself and your privileges.
5.) Having an Abortion.
Ultimately, the mistake was in getting pregnant. The circumstances surrounding that are personal, disturbing, and less than consensual, so I'll spare you the details. But being pregnant for 5 1/2 weeks was the most horrific experience of my life to date. I wanted to die and my body felt like it wasn't far behind.
I never wanted kids (I still don't) and I certainly didn't want offspring with Abusive Ex #1. He was pushing me to abort, my mom was encouraging me to keep it, and I was so torn up I'd rather the earth just swallow me whole and be done with the whole thing.
I lost a lot of friends over my decision. And it's sad to think that a few of them would have been less judgmental if I'd just killed myself instead of having an abortion. I discovered pretty quickly who was there for me and who wasn't. And sometimes, that's a hard pill to swallow, pun intended.
Looking back, I've lived quite an eventful life and a majority of those events were not pleasant ones and often not things I talk about with those outside my close circle of friends. But they happened, for better or worse, and I wouldn't be the person I am today without any of them.
So while sometimes I look back in sadness or anger, I never look back in regret.
What life mistakes have you made that you could never bring yourself to regret?
So without further ado, here are Five Mistakes I'm Glad I Made:
1.) Never Learning How to Drive.
Maybe, I should rephrase that. I learned how to drive, I just didn't like it. In fact, I was so petrified of it that I would routinely have projectile-vomit panic attacks when I was forced behind the wheel of a vehicle. Luckily for me, this only happened a handful of times in my early twenties.
Since then I have not driven any motor vehicle on any designated roadway. And while I sometimes lament the freedom of being able to just go -- I love that I've learned how to navigate various different types of public transit so seamlessly. And truth be told, not having a car to look after and pay insurance on saves a whole heck of a lot of money.
2.) Staying in Not One, but Two, Toxic Relationships.
....I guess this one will definitely require some explanation. You see, when I was just a wee lass of nineteen, I went adventuring off to the great Northern Wilds of....Montreal. I had met a guy online that I was interested in and so I literally traveled via Greyhound bus (alone) to go meet him. We wound up in a long-term relationship and I lived in Montreal for three years. During that three year time span, our relationship deteriorated into something vile and incredibly abusive -- near the end I was understandably suicidal and I knew I had to make some serious choices.
It took a lot of help to get me out of that situation, and once I was I practically fell straight into another unhealthy relationship. And I stayed because I thought I owed him that - without his help I would never have escaped my Abusive Ex #1. But in the end, and after all that I'd already survived, I realized that I had the strength to leave people behind that didn't have my best interests at heart. I had found the strength needed to stand alone and do what needed to be done.
It took WAY MORE than it should have, but in the end I learned just how much I could handle. And what I would never endure again.
3.) Going to College.
Yes, I consider this one a mistake. You see, I wasn't really doing it for the right reasons - it was just supposed to be a costly stepping stone onto the next great thing I wanted to do. And boy, was it costly! I'm still paying off heaps of student loans (and apply for forbearance whenever I can to put it off) and what did I even get out of it?
Nothing. I went to university for an English Linguistics degree because I had lofty plans to go teach English abroad and then settle down later in life with a cushy teaching position back home in the states. Needless to say, that didn't happen.
I had a major mental breakdown near the end of my third year. I was stressed out. My relationship (abusive ex #2) was failing, my family was having all kinds of personal problems that I was routinely made aware of....and on top of that I was having my own problems with my mental health.
In the end though, I am glad that I went and learned something. I LOVE language. I have such a passion for writing and how words work and the syntax behind sentence structure. I love learning how other languages tick and what pieces go together to make them function the way they do. Even if I had to borrow several thousands of dollars to get this invaluable lesson, I'm still glad it happened.
4.) Packing Everything and Moving Cross Country.
Last year my current partner and I made the bold choice to pack up our earthly possessions and drive halfway across the continent. With very little money, no career prospects, and really no plan. We just drove. Things were already rocky between us and we were both on the verge of homelessness anyways - what did we have to lose?
Other than our sanity, that is.
What we gained, though, has been invaluable. I don't recommend living out of the back of a leaky pickup trick for two months, but if you ever do, you will absolutely learn to appreciate the little things you have. I used to take for granted having a roof over my head, fresh food to eat, and the ability to shower regularly -- no longer having those things really forces you to take a good, hard look at yourself and your privileges.
5.) Having an Abortion.
Ultimately, the mistake was in getting pregnant. The circumstances surrounding that are personal, disturbing, and less than consensual, so I'll spare you the details. But being pregnant for 5 1/2 weeks was the most horrific experience of my life to date. I wanted to die and my body felt like it wasn't far behind.
I never wanted kids (I still don't) and I certainly didn't want offspring with Abusive Ex #1. He was pushing me to abort, my mom was encouraging me to keep it, and I was so torn up I'd rather the earth just swallow me whole and be done with the whole thing.
I lost a lot of friends over my decision. And it's sad to think that a few of them would have been less judgmental if I'd just killed myself instead of having an abortion. I discovered pretty quickly who was there for me and who wasn't. And sometimes, that's a hard pill to swallow, pun intended.
*******
Looking back, I've lived quite an eventful life and a majority of those events were not pleasant ones and often not things I talk about with those outside my close circle of friends. But they happened, for better or worse, and I wouldn't be the person I am today without any of them.
So while sometimes I look back in sadness or anger, I never look back in regret.
What life mistakes have you made that you could never bring yourself to regret?
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