Self-Care While Living Paycheck-to-Paycheck

When we think of self-care, we probably picture statue-esque white girls (who likely exist in an upper middle-class tax bracket) that treat themselves to spa days, a glass of red wine on Friday night, and brunch with their best girlfriends...who all look eerily similar to one another.

The might talk about the healing power of crystal grids (which are pretty and calming to look at, no doubt!) or the benefits of a morning yoga routine (who gets up at 5 am to work out, for real?) and often have the most beautiful Instagram snaps of their very healthy smoothie bowl. 

#selfcare, they say. 

And that's all well and good, but the over-saturation of this type of self-care in the media and online makes it seem as if it's the only kind of self-care that matters. And if you can't attain this model-worthy status of calm and collected, you're obviously doing it wrong.  

What if you're a person of color working 16 hours a week at a fast food joint while juggling a full-time education and brunch is a McMuffin on the way to class? What if you're disabled and unable to work for that fancy $6-coffee-YOLO-treat yo'self? What if, like me, you live paycheck to paycheck and barely have enough time to take a shower when you get home, let alone read five chapters of the new "it" book while soaking in the tub with a $50 Merlot?  

So what is self-care to the rest of us? 

According to Psych Central (take their advice with a grain of salt, please), self care is: any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Self-care is something that refuels us, rather than takes from us. So anything we do to nourish ourselves (mind, body, or soul) is self-care. It's about knowing what we need to do to take care of ourselves, so that we can be our best selves. 

Here are some of my less-than-aesthetic forms of self-care:

1.) I try to get at least 6 hours of sleep each night. I know that 8-9 isn't always feasible with my schedule or my partner's schedule, so I aim for 6. No less, because sleep is important for both my body and mind to operate optimally.

2.) I try to eat as healthy as I can, even though it's hard on my budget. To help facilitate this, I buy a LOT of frozen veggies and fruit, because they last much longer and you don't have to worry about throwing away fresh produce that went bad. The fresh stuff I DO buy, I have intended uses for during the week, so I won't waste it. Eat the best you can - don't force yourself.

3.) I've recently incorporated an at-home Pilates and yoga routine into my daily schedule. I can't afford a gym membership, but luckily Blogilates is not only free but fun and all of her workouts can be done in your living room or bed room with just a yoga mat or towel. ~ The exercise helps my body produce serotonin, which is a feel-good hormone and is definitely helping the depression that I can't afford to be treating with meds.

4.) I watch at least one fun and relaxing Youtube video every day - whether it's JackSepticEye's renewed spin on playing Subnautica or FredsVoice ASMR softly lulling me to sleep with his rude, British cadence. If I'm not up for something like that, I will listen to music and dance around to it or settle onto the couch with a favorite film. 

5.) I don't wear a lot of makeup, but skincare is important to me. Fortunately, sheet masks are relatively cheap, so I'll use one once a week and just spend 15-20 minutes lying on my bed, just breathing, with a sheet mask on. It's a great opportunity to relax and get in touch with my breathing again while I give my skin some lovely nutrients. 

The most important thing about self-care is being mindful about it. Being aware that what you do is something you do for yourself, to care for yourself, and to love yourself. 

I'm not saying going out to brunch and Instagramming the heck out of it isn't self-care, but it doesn't have to be the only way. And if you are of limited means and you still want to treat yourself - do it! If it makes you feel good, you shouldn't have to answer to anyone else about how you make yourself happy or keep yourself sane! 

In the wise words of Judy here: