Holiday Cookie Shenanigans

The Date: 12/15/2018
The Time: 15:30

Mission Objective:

Facilitate a successful holiday social venture
- Maintain satisfactory supply of food and drink
- Provide reasonable entertainment accommodations
- Complete the mixing and baking of at least two cookie varieties 
- Secure acknowledgement of "fun" from each participant


The Report:

"The morning of, I had to drag myself out of bed at the unholy hour of 7 am in order to cross the street to my workplace and help set up coffee and breakfast for the last day of TCII class. While at the office (and patiently waiting for coffee to brew) I took care of my other office related duties and plotted my last minute shopping for the day.

I still needed:

~ Wine
~ Butter
~ Applesauce
~ Chocolate Chunks
~ Caffeine

I was already bone-tired from cleaning up the apartment and making baking preparations in the kitchen the night before. This was shaping up to be an interesting Saturday."

"11:30 am - After a quick cat nap on the couch, I got down to business. Donning my tacky Christmas apron, I began mixing dough for gingerbread cookies, which I then placed in the fridge. After that, I switched on the slow cooker and blended my red wine, apple cider, spices, and orange slices.

Shortly before 3:30 pm, as people started to arrive - I whipped up a second batch of cookies. This variety was made with oatmeal, pumpkin seeds, chocolate chunks, and coconut oil. Much healthier than the sweet molasses-rich gingerbread.

My cousin was the first to arrive and it was great to see her again, since the last time we'd met she was only 5 or 6 years old. Then a former coworker of my roommate's showed up. After that, people began trickling in as a steady stream..."

"6:00 pm - In addition to my cookie attempts, our friend Angie brought her magical wares and made lefse for us. If you are unfamiliar with lefse, it's a very Norwegian tradition and involves a dough made of potatoes and flour that is rolled out very thin and then fried atop a hot flat surface.

Usually served warm with butter or jam - 10/10 would recommend!"

"As all this was on-going, much of the party migrated into the living room to play a drinking game while watching a really, really bad Christmas film - Netflix's Christmas Wedding Planner. It was so bad, that my party guests felt the need to repeatedly ladle themselves more helpings of my mulled wine to cope.

They left quite a mess in the sink.

10:30 pm - After the film and the booze had run dry, most of my guests took their leave - which left only a handful of us. I figured, rather belatedly, that this might be time to finally see if my gingerbread dough was successful or not.

Spoiler alert: it was not."

"11:30 pm - The gingerbread dough ended up being way too dry and crumbly - it was actually impossible to roll out at all. This was really disappointing, but I sought to save the batch somehow and so I ended up rolling them into little balls and squishing 'em on a cookie tray. This still didn't turn out well...

Of course, that might have been my fault - trying to bake, finish off a beer and maintain a game of Cards Against Humanity probably wasn't the best way to juggle my time or lack of sobriety.

At least my other cookies turned out alright?"

Success of holiday social venture
- Maintain satisfactory supply of food and drink - PASSED
- Provide reasonable entertainment accommodations - PASSED
- Complete baking of at least two cookie varieties  - FAILED
- Secure acknowledgement of "fun" from each participant - PASSED

Mission Success!