Sheltering In Place - Tales of the Pandemic (2)

I started working from home today.

All of the elements came together at the right time, I suppose. The governor finally issued an order to stay at home, the buses had all but stopped running, and I found a convenient way to access my work computer in case I need to pull anything off the server while crafting emergency COVID-19 related content from the discomfort of my kitchen table.

It was getting eerie going into downtown Saint Paul in the morning to see few bodies and even fewer cars on streets that are usually bustling. The quiet unease at the bus stop while waiting with a group of fellow travelers - some masked, most not - lent an aura of imminent danger to just being outside.

It's bad enough to feel like we're on the tipping point of the end of days, which is a very Twilight Zone sensation, I'm also fielding phone calls every other day from the hospital as the ICU staff struggles to determine the best course of action for treating my mom...who has no developed a bacterial pneumonia on top of the viral infection she went in with.

And that's been the hardest part - I can't even speak to her. She's still on a ventilator, still mostly sedated and still critically ill. On the flip side, I've probably spoken more to my brother in these past few weeks than I have in the past few years as we try and make the best possible decisions for the future of her care. I'm not sure I'm qualified to be making those decisions, though.

I really wish it wasn't in my hands at this point. 

I may be 32 years old, but I don't feel like I'm #adulting correctly. How can I be expected to make the right choices when it comes to the care of a seriously ill parent when I can't even navigate my own healthcare needs?

But all of this would be so much more difficult to contend with if I wasn't sheltering in place with my darling boyfriend. He's been an absolute trooper with helping me run errands for booze and food, carting me to and from work before I finally got the okay to be fully remote, and letting me vent some of my frustration. Feeding me a steady supply of Bon Appétit videos doesn't hurt, either.

I will find a way to go and do the best I can for the rest of the month and onward - being a diligent remote employee, finding the time for self-care, keeping my family in the loop on what's going on, and trying to support the people around me as much as they're supporting me.

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If you'd like to share or donate to the GoFundMe for my mom's medical needs, click here.

If you need something to listen to when social media become too much, check out my podcast here.

I also have a novella on Amazon for Kindle that you can read, right here.